


As The Storm Breaks

by narneeah



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Child Abuse, First Time Bottoming, I Love You, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Top Ronan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 13:09:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16219718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narneeah/pseuds/narneeah
Summary: "Is the power out?" Adam asks.Ronan walks over and lays beside Adam, “Yeah, there’s supposed to be a generator but, I’m taking a literal piss in the dark when I say I don’t think it’s working.”Adam smiles and Ronan runs a hand through Adam’s hair, “I was thinking about whether or not to go and check but-,” as if on cue a flash of lightning lights up Ronan’s face. “Yeah,” he says, “that.”. . .Virginia thunderstorm, two boys, and a nightmare.





	As The Storm Breaks

**Author's Note:**

> This was written over the span of about a year and a half with large chunks of time between each writing session, so sorry about that. Enjoy!

Adam spent all day at Boyd’s working in the summer heat, usually, he got home at around five or six but tonight he’d ended up staying after dark because the motor of a Honda had given him hell. He knew even before he steered his bike into the trailer park that it was going to be a bad night. After years of living through his father’s rage, he had developed a sort of sixth-sense; it was just a tickle behind his navel, a slight feeling of dread and it was useless really, a tornado that you could see coming and were powerless to get out of the way of.  
It was the middle of May and as usual, it was raining. Around this time of year without fail thunderstorms rolled in every afternoon. Huge thunderheads that turned the midday sun into dusk and winds that ripped through the trees and sent dust and trash flying. Adam is fortunate enough to make it to the end of the driveway before the bottom drops out, a torrent of rain so heavy that he can barely see three feet in front of him and which soaks him in a matter of seconds. He mutters a curse and pulls his bike around the back of the house. His shoes squelch noisily in the red mud as he climbs off and slides it under the porch to shield it from most of the rain and then scrambles up the steps and through the door. The first flash of lightning flares through the window and silhouettes his father, standing with his arms folded and shoulders tense around his shoulders.  
Adam’s heart beats unevenly in his chest and he shivers as rain runs down his back. He is completely soaked through, water runs in rivulets from his clothes and puddles hazardously on the floor.  
“Well, well, well,” Robert Parrish drawls, “look who decided to show up.”  
“I had to stay late at Boyd’s, the motor in the-”  
“Don’t fucking lie to me!” Robert snarls and lunges towards Adam. Adam takes a step back and bumps into the door, his shoes squeaking obnoxiously against the linoleum floor. “Where were you, huh? Out partying with your rich buddies? You go out partying with all your candy-ass little friends and then walk up in my house like you own the damn place! Look at the shit you’ve got everywhere!” He gestures at the muddy shoe prints and water and then shoves Adam into the door.  
“I’ll clean it up,” Adam says weakly, knowing that it's pointless to argue, but trying anyway. A blinding flash of lightning flickers outside and is quickly followed by a peal of thunder so loud the dishes in the cabinets rattle.  
“You’re damn right you’re going to clean it up! Your mother and I work too damn hard for you to disrespect us like this, we work all day and you go out and party with your pussy friends and then show up make a goddamn mess!” Robert crowds Adam even harder against the door and then rares back and slaps him. “You ungrateful piece of shit!” He yells.  
Adam presses a hand against his bleeding lip and refuses to say anything, silence is the best option unless he is asked a direct question.  
“And now you’re just going to stand there and fucking cower like a damn cunt! I barely even touched you! You think that was a hit, I’m going to fucking show you-!” Robert pulls his fist back and Adam blinks and suddenly it’s his own face staring back at him. He looks like his father, his thin mouth curled into a nasty snarl and a poisonous fire in his light eyes.  
His fist is poised beside his head, ready to punch. Adam is looking at himself with fear, but deep down he can feel the anger that pulses through this version of himself. He can feel his father’s blood running through his veins, the fire that eats his soul and devours his humanity. It’s a strange sensation because all at once he is the Adam that he is but he is also this other Adam, this Adam that didn’t turn away from his father’s antics and instead accepted them. It’s a thought that Adam has far too often, how can he hate his father and not simultaneously hate himself? Who is he but an amalgamation of his parents and their parents before them and so on and so on and so on? Does he have control over what he gets to be or is it all preordained in his genes? What if he’s just fooling himself thinking that he can be anything other than trailer park trash?  
A flash of lightning illuminates the Adam before him, “You won’t ever be anything but a pathetic piece of shit,” he says and then his fist moves forward just as a clap of thunder shakes the windows of the trailer. Adam squeezes his eyes shut and -  
. . .  
Adam jolts upright in bed to the sound of thunder rolling through the sky. He’s tangled in soft sheets and far too breathless for someone fresh from sleep. It’s so dark in the room that it takes Adam a moment to orient himself.  
The Barns. He’s at the Barns. He's in Ronan’s bed.  
He looks to the other side of the bed and it’s empty, the sheets and comforter are thrown down and Ronan’s headphones lay abandoned on his pillow. A flash of lightning illuminates the room and Ronan looking at him from where he’s perched at the window. His profile is stark against the night, entirely washed of color in the bright light but the blue of his eyes and the shadow of his hair.  
Adam slumps back against his pillow and watches Ronan watch him, taking a few deep breaths to calm the frantic roar of his heart. The curtains are pulled open and enough light penetrates through the clouds that Adam can just see the curve of Ronan’s bare shoulders, the slope of his stomach and the curves of his arms folded over his chest. Now that his heart has slowed he hears the sounds of the storm outside, wind moans through the fields and rain plinks noisily against the roof. If Adam had hearing in both ears it probably wouldn’t have taken him as long to pick up on the absence of noise. There is no hum of electricity or the sound of the air conditioner blowing through the vents, the ceiling fan is still and the lights from the TV tucked in the corner of the room are dim.  
Adam sits up and scrubs a hand over his face, “Is the power out?” He croaks into the quiet. He cringes at how loud his voice sounds in the silence. The air pops as a flash of lightning strikes the field just outside the window, spots of violet dance across Adam’s eyes in its aftermath. Thunder rumbles distantly and then rolls towards them through the sky and collapses on the roof, making Adam's bones shake. Thunderstorms like this always make Adam feel like he’s been trapped under a bowl, make him feel claustrophobic. Here with Ronan in the quiet old house though, he doesn’t mind it nearly as much.  
Ronan walks over and lays beside Adam, “Yeah, there’s supposed to be a generator but, I’m taking a literal piss in the dark when I say I don’t think it’s working.”  
Adam smiles and Ronan runs a hand through Adam’s hair, “I was thinking about whether or not to go and check but-,” as if on cue a flash of lightning lights up Ronan’s face. “Yeah,” he says, “that.”  
Adam stays quiet and closes his eyes as Ronan continues to stroke his hair.  
“Did you have a nightmare?” He asks.  
Adam opens his eyes a sliver. “Yeah,” he whispers in the sudden silence between rasps of thunder.  
“Wanna talk about it?” Ronan whispers back. Adam just shakes his head and Ronan kisses the side of his mouth.  
“Okay,” he whispers against Adam’s skin. Adam shivers and snakes a hand around Ronan’s neck, enjoying the soft press of Ronan’s mouth against his cheek. There’s something about this moment that feels unusually intimate like they’re the only two people in the world.  
As thunder rumbles steadily in the distance Adam pulls Ronan on top of himself. He runs his hand along the back of Ronan’s skull and the rasp of short hair scraping along his palm is the loudest noise in the room. Adam turns his nose and lightly runs it along the side of Ronan’s neck and then bites his earlobe softly. Ronan shudders above him and sucks in a slow breath.  
Usually, when he and Ronan start to fool around it’s quick and it’s urgent, for no particular reason other than the fact that they get caught up in the moment. This is different, this feels slower, more sensual, Adam is still pliant from sleep and yet he burns for this. He pulls until Ronan is practically laying on top of him, he can feel Ronan’s hip bones pressing into his, Ronan’s chest pushing against his with every breath. Adam doesn’t kiss him, he runs his hands up and down Ronan’s back feeling every muscle and every vertebra, Ronan’s body subtly shifting under his hands making a slow wave with his body. Adam presses his face into Ronan’s shoulder and breathes him in, takes in this moment, this feeling. He smells like body wash and the sheets and he smells like Ronan and he smells like home.  
Lightning flashes and thunder rattles the windows.  
Adam’s hands curl around Ronan’s waist and he slowly slides his fingers into the hollow spaces between his ribs. He presses up against him, wanting to be impossibly closer, wanting to sink into the warmth of Ronan’s skin. He wants to live in this moment forever, caught in this storm, caught up in Ronan.  
Adam slowly opens his mouth against Ronan’s throat and breathes out a gentle hot breath against his skin as he runs his lips up the column of Ronan’s neck, stopping briefly to press a kiss to his adam's apple. His body feels languid, hot and slow, his lids are low over his eyes when he finally comes face to face with Ronan again. Ronan’s face is flushed and his eyes are dark in the shadows of his lashes. Adam slots their mouths together but doesn’t let them kiss, he gives an infinitesimal roll of his hips and watches as Ronan’s eyes close and he drops his head against Adam’s shoulder. Adam twists with him so that their mouths are still slotted together and he grips Ronan’s shoulders firmly as he tilts his head and kisses Ronan deeply. It’s all tongue and lips and heat, their bodies pressing against each other in a desperate cry; closer, closer, closer.  
Adam sees the flash of lightning through his eyelids and feels the thunder vibrating in his chest more than he hears it because his good ear is pressed into the pillow. He thinks about the nightmare, about how fucked up it is that he is so scared of his father not just because his father has physically abused him. No, he’s afraid of Robert Parrish because Adam fears that he broke him. Adam was so afraid for so long that he didn’t have love within him, that he was just full of hate and anger. He thought that nothing would ever be good enough and that he would live his life with his father’s blood hungry for more, more, more no matter what he achieved or how much money he got, that it would never be enough.  
He was so stupid.  
For the first time in his life Adam just wishes that he could live in this moment forever, this, he thinks, is what it feels like to love. This can’t be just love, it has to be something more. This is what it feels like to have everything you didn’t know you needed and more. He’s burning, he just wants Ronan. He just wants him closer. He just wants him to know.  
Adam puts his mouth against Ronan’s ear and takes a shallow breath. He’s shaking, this feeling is going to crack him open and consume him.  
“Fuck me,” he whispers into the stillness and Ronan pulls back to look at him. They’ve never done it like this, not because Adam didn’t want to or Ronan didn’t want to, they just hadn’t. Adam brought his hand up to the back of Ronan’s head and drew it in a straight line down his back. “Please.”  
_Please want me_.  
Ronan’s eyes are so full of whatever this emotion is, this more than love feeling, in the flash of lightning that Adam feels foolishly close to tears.  
“Please,” he says again, this time more desperate, nearly swallowed up by a clap of thunder. It gets quiet and Ronan is still looking at him. Adam knows what he’s probably thinking, he’s so used to seeing Adam with his walls up, his carefully constructed facade of what he has to be to survive. He hasn’t ever really seen Adam like this, pliant and willing and letting himself want.  
Adam doesn’t ask again and Ronan finally presses a firm kiss to Adam’s mouth, “Are you sure?” He asks.  
Adam breathes a sigh of relief and drags his nails down Ronan’s arm, “Yeah.”  
Ronan takes a deep breath and then kisses him, rain pounds against the roof like white noise. Just like the rest of the night, the kiss is sensual, it’s the velvet of tongues pressing together and the slow roll of his hips against Adam’s, it’s the friction that Ronan’s sweatpants create against Adam’s boxers and the low broken moan that Adam presses into Ronan’s mouth.  
Adam reaches down and grabs Ronan’s hip, pulling him flush against him so that he can grind them together slowly. A sound catches in Ronan’s throat and he bites at the skin behind Adam’s ear.  
Adam’s breathe catches and he throws his head back and rolls his hips. He lets out a soft pant when his erection pushes directly against Ronan’s. Ronan peels Adam out of his shirt and grabs Adam’s legs to pull them around his waist before shifting forward to rock against him. The feeling of Adam’s erection being trapped against Ronan’s body and his own and Ronan’s erection pressing against his ass is overwhelming, then Ronan begins to kiss his neck and Adam arches up into the touch with a soft keening sound.  
“Ronan,” his voice is barely loud enough to be heard over the rain and Ronan rocks against him again. It’s so, so good. Adam digs his fingers into Ronan’s back and hauls him back up so that he can kiss him. He pushes his hands into the waistband of Ronan’s sweatpants and slides them halfway down Ronan’s thighs with his hands and then pushes them the rest of the way off with his feet. His hand wraps around Ronan’s cock and Ronan grunts against his neck, he strokes him once, slowly and firmly, before pulling his hand away.  
Ronan shifts his weight and grabs a condom and a bottle of lube out of the bedside table, Adam watches the muscles shift in his arm and then presses his face into Ronan’s chest. His heartbeat is the only thing Adam can hear and he tells Ronan as much, Ronan grips the back of his head and Adam lays back on the pillow again. Ronan lifts himself off of Adam enough to start pushing Adam’s boxers down, Adam kicks them off and Ronan settles back down. They are hot everywhere, skin pressed against skin, pulse against pulse, thunder roars loudly and Adam shivers. He wants this to be slow, he doesn’t want it to be frantic and desperate, he wants to remember this moment.  
The silky texture of Ronan’s cock against his ass is good enough that Adam hooks his ankles together at the small of Ronan’s back and uses it to pull him closer. The sensation makes him bite his lip and Ronan roll his hips. It’s intoxicating, the drag of skin on skin, Ronan’s soft grunts making Adam’s toes curl as Ronan grinds against him, over and over and _over_.  
Until, “ _Ronan_ ,” Adam manages to gasp out, his voice is low and soft, all air and no sound, but pregnant with desire. Adam is burning, a slow burn that began in his throat and spread like a fire into his stomach and became a writhing beast. His body reacts of its own volition when he hears the dull pop of the lube being opened, legs falling open wantonly, throwing his head back so that his throat is exposed to Ronan. Ronan takes this in stride, shifting so that he has his mouth pressed to Adam’s ear.  
“You want me?” He whispers into Adam’s working ear.  
“Yeah,” Adam says, and his voice is nearly drowned out by thunder.  
Ronan’s slick fingers did Adam and he presses his mouth to Adam’s to stifle his moan. He circles him, he’s teasing and Adam knows it. “You’re sure?”  
Adam presses his mouth to Ronan’s ear and makes his voice go as low as possible when he says, “If you don’t fuck me, I’m going to fuck myself and make you watch.”  
Ronan’s teeth dimple the skin on Adam’s neck when he grins, but he stays quiet and instead pushes a finger slowly into him. Adam tenses and then relaxes when Ronan kisses his shoulder. Adam’s done this by himself and he liked it, but it’s different with Ronan.  
Oh god, it’s so much better.  
When Ronan adds a second and curls them just right Adam sucks Ronan’s lip into his mouth and bites because fuck this is too much, it’s so much sensation that it hurts and Adam wants Ronan to feel that. Ronan pulls away, fingers and all and then kisses Adam so softly he melts into the bed.  
“You still want me?” Ronan asks, and Adam’s stomach jolts at how wrecked his voice is, like smoke and broken glass on asphalt, like the growl of an engine.  
Adams shudders, “I always want you.” He murmurs against Ronan’s temple, and he means it. No matter what happens, Adam will always want Ronan. And that terrifies him. The amount of power Ronan has over him, what he could do to him, what Adam would let him do to him. But Adam trusts Ronan enough to let him have that power, that control, over him. Adam wants Ronan to be his friend. He wants Ronan to be his lover. He wants Ronan with him always. He wants Ronan in every sense of the word, in every form and fashion.  
Ronan pulls away and Adam can feel him shifting against him. There’s pressure and then Ronan pushes into Adam and Adam’s fingers dig into Ronan’s back, pulling him as close as possible. His head falls back against the pillows and a small noise escapes him. Ronan presses his face into Adams exposed neck and Adam can feel him shaking above him, he knows the feeling, the restraint it takes to stay still with the tight heat engulfing you, he grips Ronan around the shoulders and pushes his hips down, thankful, worshipful, grateful.  
“Ronan,” Adam whispers and Ronan turns his head to press a kiss to the side of Adam’s head.  
“Ronan,” he says again, urgent, he can’t contain this feeling. Ronan moves slowly and Adam drags his blunt nails across the ink etched into Ronan’s back.  
Thunder growls outside and lightning flares brilliantly, illuminating Ronan’s flushed face. Adam stares at him, he wants to remember everything about this moment. From the smell of Ronan’s skin to the rosy flush across his chest. This feeling of being so close to Ronan it's like his chest has been cracked open and Ronan is kissing his soul.  
Adam let’s his head roll uselessly on the pillow and does something he’s never done before.  
He begs.  
He begs Ronan to come closer, to kiss deeper. He does it with one whispered prayer.  
“Please,”  
Please let this last.  
Please let me be good enough for him.  
Please let me make him happy.  
Please let him want me.  
Adam is lost. Sleep hazed and high on dopamine his body is at once distant and all too present. He pulls Ronan closer, moves his body in just the right way with Ronan’s but his mind is going a million miles a second.  
_Be in this moment._  
_What if I’m not good enough for him?_  
_What if I can’t keep him?_  
_What if I can’t stay?_  
It’s cruel to say it.  
It’s cruel to not.  
Adam's body is shaking all over and he is gripping Ronan’s neck so hard he knows it must hurt but Ronan is sliding over him again and again and again. Slick skin on slick skin, breath unbearably hot but also chilly against heated skin. Ronan’s tongue against Adams, Ronan’s body against Adam’s, Ronan, Ronan, Ronan.  
In the end, Adam can’t help it when the words get punched out of him.  
Ronan wraps an arm around Adam's waist and shifts his hips up just so, and oh, _oh_. Adam is shaking apart at the seams, the sensation shooting up his spine and down his legs is like electricity. Adam is caged by Ronan, his arms on either side of Adam's head, his mouth pressed against his, his weight bearing down on Adam, his body rolling in and out of him.  
“I love you,” Adam gasps into Ronan’s mouth, his voice like gravel, his body arches against Ronan’s and he moans.  
“I love you,” he says again, strangled, as his body tenses and releases and he wraps his arms around Ronan’s neck and pulls Ronan’s head to the juncture of his neck.  
“Oh god, I love you,” he can’t stop saying it. Now that’s he’s said it once he will keep saying it until the day he dies. With each pulse of his body, he gasps another worshipful ‘I love you’ into Ronan’s skin.  
Ronan makes a noise like Adam just ripped out his heart and his arms tighten around Adam and he presses into him and shudders. He gasps loudly against Adam’s ear and Adam watches through heavy lids as lightning streaks across the ceiling. Adam closes his eyes and feels the raspy texture of Ronan’s shaved head against his cheek, his frantic gasps against his neck, his chest pressed against Adams, Adam’s heels digging into the bones of Ronan’s back as he falls apart.  
They stay like that until both of their gasps die down and their hearts fall into a normal pace. Their embrace never loosens though. Adam's eyes are still closed and he is steadily losing his fight with consciousness. The bed against his back is warm and soft and Ronan pressed to his front is a comfort.  
“No,” he mumbles when Ronan moves to pull away. Panic striking in his heart, what if he freaked him out?  
Suddenly Adam is a little more awake and he begins to shake from physical exertion and emotional drain.  
“I’m just going to clean up, I’m not going anywhere.” Ronan presses his lips to Adam’s and squeezes his shoulder and then pulls out and away.  
Adam grits his teeth against the sensation and curls his legs against the cold as Ronan rolls away. Adam shifts to his side and curls into a ball, too tired to reach down and grab the blankets so he lets himself shiver.  
He cracks an eye open when Ronan scrubs at his stomach with one of their t-shirts. Ronan finishes and tosses it away and then crawls into bed behind Adam, pulling the blankets up to his chin and twining them together.  
Adam presses back against him and sinks into the warmth. His eyes already closing.  
He can barely hear the sound of thunder in the distance and echo of the roar that it had been. Ronan’s breathe is soft but nearly as loud because his mouth is pressed right against Adam's ear.  
Adam is nearly lost to sleep when he feels Ronan’s mouth brushing lightly against the hair behind his ear.  
“I love you too.” He whispers quietly, his fingers trailing along Adam’s stomach.  
Adam reaches down and twists their fingers together.  
Ronan’s arms pull him in tighter, “I love you too.”  
Adam turns so that they are face to face and presses his lips to Ronan’s. Ronan’s mouth is quirked in the corners and his eyes are tender. Adam kisses him once more and then sighs and presses his face into the pillow.  
“Sorry,” he mumbles , “‘M tired.” His eyes have already drifted shut and he forces them open when Ronan’s breathe ghosts against his face as he chuckles.  
“It’s ok, go to sleep.” Ronan is smiling and Adam's eyes don’t even have to be open for him to tell. He is happy and Adam did that. Adam fumbles a hand to Ronan’s face and feels his beak of a nose first and then the curl of his mouth before resting against his stubble covered cheek.  
“You gonna be here when I wake up?” Adam teases.  
Ronan wraps his hand around Adam’s and pulls it to his mouth so he can kiss the sensitive skin at his wrist. “Mm-hm,” he hums into Adams skin and Adam presses his face into Ronan’s neck and drifts to sleep.  
He wakes up the same way. It’s a rare thing that he is ever awake when Ronan is asleep so he’s careful when he pulls back to look at Ronan’s blissful face. He looks so young when he sleeps, his eyebrows relaxed over his eyes and his mouth a downturned pucker.  
Adam was going to marry him one day.  
He kisses Ronan at the corner of his mouth and is rewarded with a heavy intake of breath and Ronan’s arm snaking around his waist.  
“I love you,” Adam says just because he wants to.  
Ronan looks at him blearily and wipes the drool from the opposite corner of his mouth.  
Adam snorts, “That's gross.”  
Ronan gives him a sour look. “So’s my ass but you still put your mouth all over it.” He makes a face like ‘ha’ and Adam laughs.  
“Yeah, alright,” Adam concedes and kisses Ronan anyway.  
Adam may not have but one good ear, a bad relationship with his parents, a shitty car, and psychological trauma, but the bed is warm and Ronan is kissing him and the sun is shining and Adam is happy. He thinks maybe it’s all been worth it if only just for this exact moment in this bed in this house with the boy he loves and who loves him back.


End file.
